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Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

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Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Blukerbeh on Thu Mar 13, 2014 6:51 pm

People keep pulling these jokes out of their asses on the server and it's more cancerous than memes.

Kat Kelley wrote:**Trigger Warning**

Rape jokes are not innocuous. They perpetuate rape culture and promote rape myths which consequently invalidate the experiences of survivors and justify the actions of perpetrators of sexual violence.

According to Force: Upsetting Rape Culture, rape culture (or rather, our culture) is a culture in which we are “surrounded with images, language, laws, and other everyday phenomena that validate and perpetuate rape. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as ‘just the way things are.’”

Memes or jokes glorifying sexual violence desensitize us, and significantly impact survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence.

I've heard statistics on statistics on statistics about survivors, perpetrators, and the acts themselves, but what I find to be most heartbreaking is that only 5% of college women who are raped report it to the police, and 42% tell no one about the experience. Clearly, the legal system isn't the only problem.

In the past, I served as a sexual assault crisis counselor on a 24-hour hotline. I’d listen to survivors’ and loved ones’ stories, I’d explain their reporting options and the pros and cons of reporting, and I'd help them navigate our center’s services. I learned quickly, however, that survivors didn’t just need to find a counselor or to be tested for STIs. Rather, survivors needed to be told “I believe you,” and to know that whatever they are feeling, however they are (or aren’t) coping, is valid. They needed to take to heart that what had happened was not their fault, as one of the most common symptoms of rape trauma syndrome is guilt.

GUILT. As a society we teach “don’t get raped” rather than "don’t rape."Consequently, survivors ask themselves “What could I have done differently? How could I have prevented this? Was I not clear enough? I shouldn’t have drank that, worn this, talked to them.”

Rape jokes tell survivors of sexual violence that you are not an ally, that they cannot reach out to you for support, that you will either invalidate their story, or worse blame, chastise, interrogate, or disbelieve them. Rape jokes tell survivors that they need to “get over it,” that their emotions and trauma are not legitimate, because rape is funny. It isn’t a big deal. It isn’t that different from failing a test. Rape jokes often reinforce rape myths, that men just can’t control themselves, or that women are “asking for it” by speaking out, dressing a certain way, or not obeying.

Rape jokes are a major barrier to survivors reporting and consequently a barrier to holding perpetrators accountable. While one in six women experience rape or attempted rape, that certainly doesn’t mean that one in six men are rapists. Rather, most perpetrators are repeat rapists, perpetrating an average of six rapes. That means that our failure to create an environment in which survivors feel safe and supported through the reporting process allows for further victimization.

Rape jokes also teach perpetrators that their actions are normal and acceptable. Rapists don’t consider themselves rapists. They don’t associate their actions with the world ‘rape,’ even if they’ll admit to acts that constitute as rape. (For example, answering “yes” to questions such as “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with an adult when they didn’t want to because you used or threatened to use physical force [...] if they didn’t cooperate?”) Through their ability to dissociate their actions from the word “rape,” rapists assume that their actions are normal, that all men are rapists.

And rape jokes reinforce this. Rape jokes tell rapists that their actions aren’t anything different from normal, healthy sexuality. Rape jokes condone rapists' actions. To rapists, they are a confirmation that other men- those telling the jokes, and those laughing at them- are rapists as well.

Rape jokes are not just insensitive. They are microaggresions, contributing to our rape culture, and sending the message that sexual violence is acceptable, inevitable, the status quo.

We don’t have to tolerate it. It is our responsibility to end rape culture.

Source: [Here]

Laura wrote:For those of you who wonder why rape victims get all super sensitive about rape jokes ‘n shit, well, this is why. Before you’re raped, rape jokes might be uncomfortable, or they might be funny, or they might be any given thing. But after you’re raped, they are a trigger. They make you remember what was done to you. And if the joke was about something that wasn’t done to you, not in quite that way, you can really easily imagine how it would feel, because you know how something exactly like that felt. Rape jokes stop being about a thing that happens out there, somewhere, to people who don’t really exist, and if they do they probably deserved it, and they start being about you. Rape jokes are about you. Jokes about women liking it or deserving it are about how much you liked it and deserved it. And they are also jokes about how, in all likelihood, it’s going to happen to you again.

Source: [Here]
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Sophia_Orr_Voidwalker on Thu Mar 13, 2014 7:23 pm

A-Fucking-Men to that. Fuckign assholes who make those jokes...
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by DIABLO258 on Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:15 pm

Was gonna right a super long post about rights, and how you shouldn't be offended by comedy because that's all it really is, and how rape is a bad thing yet should still be allowed to have humorous properties. But I decided against it, because just like how you think posting this will get people to stop being offensive, I thought posting a long explanation would get you to think differently as well.

All I am going to say is you should really stop and think about the things you do or say. We can all agree that Rape is bad. But to say that we should stop talking or bring humor to a topic because its "offensive" is even worse. Just tell the guy who is making jokes to stop while they are around you because it affects you personally. If they say okay, then you won. If they say no, then sorry but that's how its going to be.

I'm sorry but if you were raped at some time in your life, its one of those things you are just going to have to "deal with" for the rest of your life. The world isn't going to stop and think about you. So one of those things to "deal with" is other people. And people who haven't gone through what you may have, will never understand. So its best for you to keep your personal matters to a personal scale and ask that person, PERSONALLY, to stop. Rather than try and convince a group of people. Outlawing a topic for a group of people, in which said topic has only affected two or three from that group is going to go south. That person needs to understand YOU, and how YOU feel. Not the topic or statistics because odds are they know its bad and they just don't care. So to make them care, you don't throw numbers and tears in their face. You explain why you think they should avoid saying those things around you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Next time, use your heart with this topic rather than statistics. And also use it on one person at a time. This will help you keep away from Rape jokes. But nothing will STOP you from running into them. You can only avoid them.

Also, if the jokes took place on OOC chat, you can ask an admin about that. No need to post. Morality is something most people within TEH share, and I am sure we all understand how Rape is not something everyone wants to talk about. If one person gets told to stop, the rest will figure it out shortly.
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Blukerbeh on Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:26 pm

DIABLO258 wrote:

If they say okay, then you won. If they say no, then sorry but that's how its going to be.

Next time, use your heart with this topic rather than statistics. And also use it on one person at a time. This will help you keep away from Rape jokes. But nothing will STOP them from existing.

Also, if the jokes took place on OOC chat, you can ask an admin about that. No need to post. Morality is something most people within TEH share, and I am sure we all understand how Rape is not something everyone wants to talk about. If one person gets told to stop, the rest will figure it out shortly.

I wouldn't complain if these events took place ICly, because RP, of course. However, it is the staff of TEH that i've seen making rape jokes almost daily. It wouldn't bother me so much if the jokes were just some sort of lighthearted joke but most of it's just been reasons to justify rape in a 'lol funny situation' OOCly. Each time someone makes a rape joke I of course kindly ask them to stop, and usually they do, and I greatly appreciate that; but I've recently encountered a staff member who decided to make a follow-up rape joke.

This isn't an argument that anybody wins, it's a collaboration to better a community.

Diablo, I'd like to thank you for giving a legitimate reply with actual reason, and I do agree with many of the points you've made. I love you bb.
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by DIABLO258 on Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:32 pm

Staff? Wtf?

When I owned TheCrew, Rape RP was a thing. It still is, but it wasn't a choice really. The old Owner from before me used to RP Rape random citizens. It was all story line, so he got away with it. But I eventually made it choice. You could ask the player if they are comfortable with Rape, enough so to let that event take place in their RP story. If not, that person could not force you to RP it.

If a staff member is being offensive that should be a huge red flag for other Staff members.

How ever, to anyone out their currently telling rape jokes thinking they are funny, if they do not sound something like this then its probably to offensive of a joke to tell to random people. Even still, this joke wouldn't be something to just spew out into the public. This dude is famous and has lots of money and body guards. You do not. So be weary of what you say. In the mean time, lets all enjoy some comedy?

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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Zaughi on Thu Mar 13, 2014 8:45 pm

I feel that rape jokes are almost NEVER okay, even though I must say I'm guilty of cracking one of them once or twice. I felt like an asshole upon using one because I know someone who's been raped before and making these kinds of "jokes" in the prescence of that person is blatantly offensive and very much uncalled for.

Seriously, this should not be allowed within the server or forums. Ever.
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by General Bravo on Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:46 pm

Believe it or not, rape doesn't just mean that thing that makes everyone up in arms about whose fault it is and other such nonsense. Another of its meanings is taking the lines of "the act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation". It's possible something along those lines was meant, as few people probably mean anything sexual when they bring up that word in a joking manner.

I realize that it could be taken the wrong way, but at the same time I'm not taking it completely out of my(or anyone else's)vocabulary. It can be a slippery slope, as it is right now in the US, where you have to be politically correct 24/7 and can barely talk without risking offending some group. Things can be taken out of context, or taken to mean something that they don't. Both the people who are listening/reading and the people who are talking/typing should understand this.

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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Blukerbeh on Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:39 pm

General Bravo wrote:Believe it or not, rape doesn't just mean that thing that makes everyone up in arms about whose fault it is and other such nonsense. Another of its meanings is taking the lines of "the act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation". It's possible something along those lines was meant, as few people probably mean anything sexual when they bring up that word in a joking manner.

I realize that it could be taken the wrong way, but at the same time I'm not taking it completely out of my(or anyone else's)vocabulary. It can be a slippery slope, as it is right now in the US, where you have to be politically correct 24/7 and can barely talk without risking offending some group. Things can be taken out of context, or taken to mean something that they don't. Both the people who are listening/reading and the people who are talking/typing should understand this.

Yes and faggot means a "bundle of sticks" but nobody uses it in that form except to excuse theirselves from the blatant responsibility. If it can be interpreted in such a way and almost all the time is, then it probably is. There is plenty of other words to use, WHY?

Sex without consent is rape; there is no twist on that.
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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by General Bravo on Thu Mar 13, 2014 11:21 pm

It is seeming you have multiple threads with similar angles to them. However, I've never known you to be the type who tries to shift others into a certain point of view.

I detect a high likelihood of both of these threads degenerating into flame wars due to the fact that most people tend be very polarized by their opinions, and as such I feel it is necessary to lock them both to prevent this from occurring.

You may message me with any further concerns.

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Re: Why Rape Jokes Are Never Funny

Post by Slashraider on Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:12 am

I just wanted to say something so it is out there. When Blukerbeh talks about staff jokes about rape I'm sure he means something among the lines of this "OOC: OTA are online I guess rebels are gonna get raped" OR "OOC: a lot of people are in the slums, CMD should get on and rape them"

While I see these are offenseful, they are placed off as a minor joke. If people had a problem with it, the staff member would stop. Even I have been guilty of this. But in the gaming community using the work rape to mean dominating someone is one of our vocabulary words. I don't think it is a good thing, but it is sticking. Saying "wow this guys is just raping me" is something people just say no if they are losing.

It is not the server, it is just the gaming community which has turns this word from a bad thing to somethjng people just say now.

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